Staying close to your brother as adults

Choose something you would both enjoy today

Ask your brother what he has been interested in lately. A hobby you shared years ago may still be a good starting point, or you may discover something completely different. Offer a plan that makes room for both people's preferences.

Try a short walk, a snack at home, a shared game or a call about a recent recommendation. You can be a brother or sister making the invitation; you do not need matching hobbies or personalities.

Send a small, answerable invitation

• "I'm taking a short walk on Sunday. Would you like to join for a loop?"
• "I heard a song that reminded me of that trip. What have you been listening to lately?"
• "Fancy choosing a route for our next catch-up? We could keep it to half an hour."
• "Would a short call this weekend suit you, or shall we swap voice notes when we have time?"

Leave room for an alternative. Someone can want to see you and still need a different time, a cheaper plan or a quieter week.

Use the shared history without staying in old roles

A familiar story can get a conversation going. Follow it with something current: "What would you choose to do now?" or "What has changed most about an ordinary week for you?" Listen for details you might have missed.

If an old joke or a competition no longer feels good, say so and choose a different activity. Family history need not decide who is always the organiser, the winner or the person being teased.

When you live apart

Choose an activity that does not require simultaneous availability. Each take a local walk, watch a short programme or try a recommendation, then swap one detail later. Make the reply window realistic for work, caring commitments and time zones.

For a visit, discuss travel and costs directly rather than assuming who should make the journey. You can also alternate who proposes the next small plan.

Decide whether competition belongs in the plan

If you both enjoy a race, agree the rules and the finish before you start. Different jobs and walking routines can produce very different step totals. A shared goal may be more enjoyable than deciding who walked most.

For a group of siblings, you can organise an offline photo hunt or a paper-map challenge in the family chat. Do not assume that everyone wants their daily totals compared.

A virtual trail for you and your brother

We make Tandem Trails for two iPhone walkers. Both Apple Health walking distances add to one route, with a shared Campfire, painted stones and optional Mischief cards for your step-offs. The app supports a pair rather than a whole sibling group.

See how to share a trail with a relative, or borrow an idea from our family walking challenges for your next catch-up.