Long-distance date ideas that aren't another video call

Choose a date that fits the energy you have

A long-distance date can be an ordinary activity you deliberately share. Start with how much time you both have, whether you can be available together, and whether you want to talk or simply make something to show each other later.

Try one of the ideas below rather than planning an entire evening. Agree an end time too, so an early start or a busy tomorrow does not turn the date into an endurance test.

Seven things to do from different places

1. Take a walk-and-talk date. Each choose a familiar local loop and call for part of the walk. Describe one thing you can see. You do not need matching routes, speeds or distances.
2. Cook the same simple meal. Choose ingredients you can both find, share a recipe and compare the results. If your evenings do not overlap, leave a short voice note with your unofficial review.
3. Make each other a three-song soundtrack. Pick one song for your day, one for a shared memory and one you think they have never heard. Listen before your next call.
4. Try a tiny photo hunt. Look for something yellow, something old and something that made you smile. Send your three pictures later, with a sentence about each.
5. Read a short story together. Choose something you can finish in a sitting, then ask which scene stayed with the other person. Alternate who chooses next time.
6. Explore one virtual trail. Choose a destination and let your separate everyday walks contribute to the same journey. Check the map together at the weekend.
7. Plan one detail of your next visit. Each suggest a breakfast spot, a walk or a free afternoon activity. Keep it to a detail rather than turning the whole date into travel administration.

When your time zones do not line up

Make the date asynchronous. One person leaves a prompt and the other replies when their day allows. For example: send a view from your morning walk, then ask for a view from their evening. Agree that a delayed reply is expected.

Use a window such as "sometime this weekend" instead of a deadline measured in minutes. Put a separate time in the calendar for anything that needs a real conversation.

A ready-to-send invitation

Fancy a little walking date on Sunday? Let's each take a short loop, find something that reminds us of the other person, and swap a photo afterwards. No need to go at the same time.

Make the plan smaller if either of you is tired. A five-minute voice note or a view from the window can be the whole date. The invitation should feel easy to accept, change or decline.

If you like the shared-trail idea

We make Tandem Trails, an iPhone app that combines two walkers' Apple Health distances on one virtual route. You can keep a shared Campfire burning and leave painted stones for each other. It gives you something to return to between calls, without needing to walk at the same time.

See how Tandem Trails works for couples. The other date ideas here work without an app.